An important life thing is happening. And the most interesting detail is that I will be moving, and finding myself, living up North. The North is not a place I’ve ever properly thought about in terms of the post-uni leap into life and freedom.
The North is just sort of there. My preference is the South, it’s where I went to uni and it’s where my significant people are.
Beyond that though, this past week I have been living with both feelings of calm and also anxiety. Calm for my brain knowing that soon I will be free of this current place and knowing I can breathe again. Anxiety for knowing that, despite everything, I still like my home. It’s where all my cool stuff is and where my friends come to see me.
But I’ve realised that I’ll be swapping the wait for friends to visit, for brothers to come home, for – instead – being the travelling companion to whoever I need and wish to see. The change of pace and of independence is what the calm part of my brain is revelling in.
It’s odd because I will be moving just before the start of August. Now, August is still summer. As is September, which I always forget actually has quite nice weather. But being so near to this later month I feel nearer to the changing of the seasons – summer to autumn. This is bolstered by the anticipation of the colder climate up North which is something I will greet like an old lover.
I’ve had people congratulate me for getting this new “proper” job and also saying that I’ve deserved this. Congratulations seem a bit out of place, as lots of people do this all the time. And considering how much I know my friends, and personally, feel like getting a job is based on some cosmic lucky draw, there’s little to weight to hearing: well done.
Hearing I’ve deserved this is the other thing. It’s met with a detachment, on my part. I was in shock for a few days after getting the job offer. I wasn’t excited, or even anxious, or sad. Just stunned. A bit vacant. I see this as a reaction from living in a personal cycle of unpleasantness (!*) for so long that hearing news of being granted freedom was surreal.
I am greatly anticipating this move forward.
In other news, this wiggle room I have (from ending my current role as a Social Media/Admin intern and starting the new and flashy Editorial Assistant gig) has found me to go back to Instagram. Now, it’s been a few fair months since I last scrolled through bookstagram and stared at the ridiculously perfect aesthetic posts of that community. But since doing so again today, I find myself with a sense of satisfaction – I am content with the look of my life at the moment, of myself, and am engaged (as much as I used to be sucked into those beautifully arranged book posts) with where I am.
I will not be giving out free advice on how I bagged my new job role but shall offer the below themes that relate to my success:
· searching in a relevant field to your experience
· belief in the force known as luck
· knowing the most truthful thing to job-searching is the whole “3 busses come along at once” shtick.
*Mild description to say the least.
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